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Sick Day Guilt

As to whether someone is truly ill or
faking it but the one piece of advice I can give is Hi guys welcome back to another video and today I’m going to talk about something called sick day guilt. As usual before we get started if you hit that subscribe button
I’ll greatly appreciate that along with any likes or comments you can give this
video if you want to check out my social media pages all the links are down below
in the description. So if you have a chronic illness this is something you’ll
most definitely have felt and it’s called sick day guilt I know some
watching this may be like oh come on you’re just making things up now but I
promise you I’m not and it is a real thing honestly. Let me know if this
sounds familiar and this is something I certainly do if I ever wake up and feel
too sick to go to work I would literally sit on the edge of my bed and have a
full-on debate in my own head as to whether I should go in or not I’d say to
myself am I making a big deal out of things or am I making something out of
nothing and that I’ll be fine and it’ll pass and I guarantee you nine times out of
ten I’ll tell myself to suck it up I get changed and then I will go and do the
hour-and-a-half commute where either I’ll feel so ill on the train and
I’ve actually thrown up on the train toilets or at the station or I’ll make
it to work only to look like a complete zombie to be sent back home
again. The only silver lining of getting into work to be sent back home is that
people see that you’re ill and that you’re a mess and that you can’t
function like a like a proper human being for that day so they physically
see that you’re ill and that you actually made the intention to come in. But what happens when you have a chronic illness like Crohn’s Disease or any
other illness and have to call in sick one too many times this is where sick
day guilt comes into this. Look let me be real with you I have been in remission
for almost nine years and over the Christmas period of 2018 it depends when you’re watching this video stress at work was ridiculous
and for those that don’t know that I work as a radiographer so my job I’m on
my feet all day I’m dealing with patients and there can be odd working patterns and shifts and on most days I just get a lunch break I
don’t have time to have a mid-morning or a mid-afternoon break and when I do even
then I feel guilty of taking my full allotted break time because I know how
busy it can get in the department. So in Christmas time December time of 2018 it
was so stressful we had so many patients and it’s the NHS we have a lot of people
come in and out of the department not only patient wise but staff wise so
sometimes we are short staffed and we have to pick up the extra slack just
to just to get through the day and at this time it was just building up
building up and my fatigue was getting worse and worse and a few days before
Christmas I flared for the very first time in years and since then I have not been
the same and I have had to call in sick one too many times. Now when I do call in sick I can’t help but feel so guilty and the fact that I feel like I’m letting
everyone down at work and I keep telling myself that there is no reason to feel
like this but yet it keeps playing in my mind the same thoughts keep running
through my mind of I hope people don’t think I’m faking it and I almost feel the need to drag myself in only to be seen so I can be sent back home it sounds so counter-intuitive but unfortunately that is kind of the
reality when you live with an invisible illness you can’t prove that you’re sick
people just have to take your word for it But even the act of a calling in to make them aware that I am I’m not going
to be in fills me with dread as I feel it’s almost got to the point of why am I
not surprised he’s calling in sick again I find the hardest thing to
overcome is the feeling that I am letting people down and this does
stay with me the whole time I’m sick and it does play around in my head and it
leads me to rush my recovery and I was speaking some friends about this and
even though they don’t have a chronic illness as far as I’m aware but they
also do feel the same way but the way their jobs are structured they catch up
with work while they’re sick so whether that’s by doing project work or
responding over email and phone calls they are still actively involved with
work when they’re sick now I can’t really do that because my work is at the
hospital all the patients are at the hospital and I can’t really do anything from home so the burden or the feelings of guilt just increase even
more and that in part is because I know how busy it can get and how difficult it
can be to manage the patient load especially when you’re short-staffed and it just comes back to that feeling of you’re feeling like you’re letting the team down. As I said this sort of sick day guilt
does make me rush my recovery and try to get back to work even when I’m not 100%
and it should come to no surprise that not taking the time to fully recover and
rushing back does actually make you feel worse and you end up going off sick
sometimes but even longer than you originally were but I am learning
although very slowly that there is no reason to feel guilty about being sick
over something that I can’t control it’s not as if I’ve intentionally
decided to not go into work or to or to even have Crohn’s Disease and that I am
just playing with the cards that I have been dealt with and doing the best that
I can and a lot of you need to realize that
and it’s difficult living with a chronic illness especially when you can’t prove
that you have it and I know we live in a society today where people require proof
and there’s sort of a lot of talk behind people’s back as to whether someone is
truly ill or faking it but the one piece of advice I can give is just
to ignore that just focus on you do the best you can and if you’re doing that
that’s all that matters. So if you’re like me and suffer from sick day guilt I
just want you to know that you are not alone it’s okay to go off sick and it’s
even more important to try and overcome the feeling of guilt and not rush your
recovery and to only go back into work when you are fully recovered it will be
the best for you and the best for your employer because they’re going to be
getting the best version of you. So I hope you found that helpful it wasn’t
really much of a Crohn’s tips and tricks video or a little vlog it was more of a
little rant but I hope you found it useful anyway if you want to see more
videos like this about any other topic just let me know in the comment section
remember to hit that subscribe button and follow me on my social media all the
links are in the description box below so thank you for watching and I will see
you next week

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