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Do I have PTSD? with therapist Kati Morton | Hannah Witton

– Hey, everyone. I am here with Katie Morton, she is a YouTuber who talks
loads about mental health and is also a licenced therapist. – Correct. – I thought we would chat
about trauma and PTSD. If you’ve seen a couple
of my videos recently, with my surgery and having been really ill and in the hospital recently, I basically talked about
how I want to get therapy because I don’t want to develop PTSD. So I went up to my GP,
had a phone assessment, and then I had an in person assessment. But because I’m moving house soon, and I’m moving to a different borough, so it’s a different council,
it’s a whole different system. – Oh okay, good to know. – That hasn’t happened yet, but I thought this might be
useful for you guys to hear. And also useful for me to
learn all about this stuff. Basically I’m terrified of getting PTSD but I was like what is that? (laughing) – Yeah what does that mean. – Yeah, because you kind of
hear it in terms of soldiers. – It’s funny because that’s probably, even though that’s what
we hear about the most, it’s probably the least
common cause of PTSD. The most common causes
are like any kind of abuse or a life threatening disease, surgery, illness, things like that, car crash. – So the person I spoke
to says it can happen if you think you are going to die. – Exactly. In order for us to be traumatised, all that really has to happen is we either have to fear for our own life, okay, or the life of someone we care about. Let’s say we were like best, best friends. Like hooked at the hip,
hang out together every day, and then you call me,
you’re like oh my god, this was terrible. Then I could be traumatised
also because my best friend. – So I should probably
check in with my parents. – Well exactly, just encourage
them to get help too. Or if we witness an event, even if we don’t know those people. – Uh-huh. – People might have died in a car crash or witness something really scary, that can cause it as well. And so just recognising that
if we ever fear for our life or the life of someone else. That is really what can cause a trauma. – So does PTSD involve flashbacks or is that just Hollywood
making me think that. – No it definitely does. PTSD involves a lot of different things. One of them is flashbacks, and
not everyone has flashbacks, just so you know what flashbacks are, is when you feel like
you’re back in the moment and it’s happening again. But people can have memories
that pop into their mind like a little blip of it and, uh. And it’s just for a second.
– I think I’m getting that. – Or we can have certain
scents that trigger it, like any of those things. – ‘Cause smell’s like your
strongest memory as well. – Yes, totally, tastes. All of your senses can trigger
any kind of thing like that. So any of that is all kind of part of PTSD as well as avoiding situations that might, some people especially
with surgery related things may be like, I’m not going
back to the hospital. Those are all components
of the PTSD diagnosis. – Is there a difference
between PTSD and trauma or are they two different things? – So PTSD itself is Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder, and that’s a diagnosis. People can be traumatised
and never have PTSD. – Right. – But then some people develop it. And PTSD usually develops
within three months of the incident. – I’m comin’ up to four months. – Okay, cool. But it can take up to years even, I always tell people that too. People can go through something rough and our brain is so resilient,
it can stuff things down and we’re like, I’m just
gonna get through this. And all of a sudden when you feel good, it’s like rarrr. All the shit comes up. – A friend of mine has
had multiple surgeries and she was telling me how
she didn’t take any rest time after one that she had and was just like, I’m gonna go back to uni,
I’m gonna do all the work, da-da-da-da and then
that actually caused her to then develop the PTSD. – Cause you don’t get any
down time to give your body and your brain time to
process all that happened. – So for me, one of the
reasons why I wanted to get therapy and also
talk to you, is because I’m interested in trying to prevent it. Is that a thing that you can do? – Yes and no, it’s a little tricky because you can get
treatment and process through the trauma you sustained, before it actually turns into PTSD. But you can’t prevent the
trauma from happening, because it’s already happened,
I guess is what I’m saying. So the experience will never change, but the way that you respond
and react to it, can. – For me, I know that I have
a lot of trauma associated with the two and a half weeks
that I was in the hospital before surgery, because post surgery, even though that was still awful because I was barely mobile. The fact that the diseased
colon was out of me, my brain just felt so much better. I was like, I’m not ill anymore, but the time before was just horrendous. I was a complete shell of a person. – Yeah, you were afraid for your life. This is as sick as I’ve ever been. – Yeah.
– You were traumatised. – Exactly, and I’m not having
any PTSD symptoms right now, but I want to be in a place
where I know what tools are available to me in order
to process that healthily. – ‘Cause we talk about
process a lot in therapy, like you’re gonna process through that. That feels so much better, but nobody really talks
about what that means. And overall, the term process is like to get to the point where you can talk out whatever happened without
any emotional charge. So you can just be like,
and I did this thing and it was really shitty,
but like, I’m okay. And you legitimately, there’s no physiological response to that. – Is that also not bad? Because what if it’s a bit shut down or? – You would’ve had to talk it out. – ‘Cause then you’re a bit
like a robot, I don’t know. – You can’t have processed
through something without actually doing the work. So someone could stuff it down, just be like pretend it never happened, and I’m totally fine. But if you’ve been in treatment at all, or been talking it out with
people and been in group or anything like that,
that would be that process for you to then not have
an emotional response. And so trauma memories,
do you wanna get into it with the memories a little bit? – Yes.
– I love the movie Inside Out. – Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
– I talk about this all the time on my channel. – I wanna watch that again.
– I know. It’s so good, ’cause
they do such a good job of representing our brain
and how it stores memory. They’re marbles, right?
– Yeah. – They’re like rolling
them around and filing them and all those beautiful
cabinets and stuff like that. – This is a happy memory,
this is a sad memory. – All those memories are essentially, you’re essentially telling a story, and the way that we create
memories in narrative form. And so when you’re able
to talk through a story or even tell yourself the story, clearly, it’s rolled up nicely in a
marble and it’s filed away. Trauma memories are too much for us to put into narrative form, our
brain can’t process it. We might not even have
the memories at first, because it’s so
traumatising that our brain pulls the ripcord, I call it, dissociates. It’s like, waaa, this is too much. I don’t wanna remember, it’s
like you don’t have the memory. So when we’re putting
that marble together, it’s like it slips, and it falls, and it splinters everywhere. And so when we’re walking around, trying to create new memories,
we step on those splinters and that’s when we have the flashbacks. Or we have that sensation
in our body like the scent. – Yeah, it’s not like
you have a trauma marble stored somewhere.
– And it can get into your other memories that are
marbles, ’cause it flew into every part of your memory. – This is a great analogy. – And so then working with
someone in the process is essentially putting on thick gloves and picking up all those splinters. And putting them back
together into a marble as best you can until you roll it away. – So then you still have to,
because you experienced it, but you’ve stored it. – we won’t accidentally
stumble into something that’s going to cause us to react in a way that we don’t want. – And what’s the difference
between doing that and storing the marble,
than pushing it down. And hiding it away somewhere. Is that just ignoring
the splinters, basically? – Mm-hmm, yes.
– Okay. – You’re still experiencing it. – It’s even a funnier analogy just because the association with mental
health and losing your marbles. Oh no, my trauma marbles, like eugh. So what are the treatments for PTSD then? – There are a bunch of
them, but the first thing that you will probably
start with is talk therapy. And that’s really just
talking it out with someone and essentially you’re talking
through all the little bits of story to put it into that marble. And that is what we try first, and usually that’s because most therapists are trained to do it and it’s the easiest to consider trying. That’s what I do I do in my practise and that’s all I’m trained to do. I’m not a trauma specialist, but I am able to do talk therapy and see if it’s working and if we should refer
you off to other options or more intensive programmes. And so after that there’s
EMDR, and EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation
and Reprocessing. And there’s a lot of people
who say it doesn’t work, a lot of people say it works. I just feel like do what’s right for you, try it out, don’t knock it til you try it. And essentially what it means
is you know when you sleep and you have REM sleep and
your eyes are like (trilling). – Yeah, yeah, yeah.
– They believe that that’s your brain
processing through your day. And so the person who
created this found that if she would watch
something, go back and forth, back and forth, the stress or
anxiety that she was feeling went down and the thing she
was worried about felt better. They think it’s like giving
your brain another chance to process through it.
– Oh. – And so EMDR, they can
put tappers in your hands, they can tap you on
your knees or shoulders or whatever’s appropriate for you. Putting headphones on with buzz, (buzzing) in essence they’re trying to
recreate that eye movement while you talk about a traumatising event and therefore your brain
is processing it again. And I mean there still needs
to be more research on it, and some people are
like this is ridiculous, but other people find
it to be really helpful, so do what’s right for you. But there’s also a tonne of
different types of therapy. And I’m just gonna name them
and I have videos about them but there’s a lot to get into. – Yeah there’s a lot of
videos on Katie’s channel. – And I even have a trauma specialist, my friend Alexa comes on and
gets into more nitty gritty, but there’s Somatic Experiencing, which is like managing
the bodily symptoms of it, and then there’s Schema Therapy, there’s all sorts of things you can do with regard to trauma. – And CBT, is that more like talk therapy? – Yes, but they have trauma based CBT. – Which is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. – And that means essentially that we work on figuring out what
your faulty belief is. Let’s say that that belief
is every time I get in a car, I’m gonna have an accident. Figuring out why, what thoughts
you’re telling yourself, and then what behaviours,
are you avoiding cars because of that, slowly
getting you out of that. – I remember trying to
get CBT at one point for my fear of flying, but I couldn’t get it for free on the NHS because it wasn’t so severe that it was stopping me from getting on planes. – So exposure therapy’s
great for that, too. – Oh, ’cause they sit people by airports and make them watch planes go up and down and everything. – Yeah, and you go to the airport like you’re getting on
a plane, then you don’t. And you visualise yourself
slowly exposing yourself to the scary thing, which you
were kinda doing by flying. I think my one question for you is I would have assumed it was the surgery that was traumatising? – Uh huh.
– You said it was more the time leading up to it,
why do you think that was? – I think it was because
of how much being ill effected my brain. For two and a half weeks,
I was in a side room, so it wasn’t on a ward. I spent all day lying down in pain. I didn’t wanna pick up
my phone, I could barely talk to people, and (whispering)
my voice was like this. Most of the time, I’d just be lying there with my eyes shut, like not even sleeping. And it’s just not fun. And when I think of that room,
that’s where my trauma is. Just physically that room,
and then I was wheeled out of there, had surgery. Obviously that was terrifying,
but at that point it was like I’m so ill, I just want this to end. And so I had the surgery and
I woke up in a lot of pain. – Yeah, ’cause you had surgery. – ‘Cause I’d just had
surgery, but other than that I was just like chatting away. And like hey, mom, dad, boyfriend. It’s amazing to see you finally. I’ve not seen you for a few weeks, ’cause I haven’t been here. But yeah, all of the
trauma is like the room. It’s very much there. – Which makes sense, I guess,
because it was out of control. I think a lot of people,
the trauma comes from when you have no control, where
the surgery is almost like you’re taking control back.
– Yeah, uh-huh. – Where you’re like I’m sick of this, I can’t feel this way anymore,
I don’t even know who I am. – It was the unknown, whilst I was ill, it was like I have no
idea it’s going to be until I get better, I
didn’t know if anything was going to work. I have no idea if I’m
going to be healthy again. It was just like, don’t know, don’t know, don’t know, constantly.
– Yeah. – Post surgery, it was like
there is a clear trajectory of what happens and
there is an end in sight of when I will be okay again. That was so much easier
to live with than before. – I could see that the
worry of being ill forever, like when is this gonna get
better, what am I gonna do, it’s still fear for your life. You feel like, is this
what life is right now? ‘Cause this is terrible. – And I know I was the one who was ill, but seeing how it effected my parents, and my partner as well, having to like see me go through that, like that also hurt, and I
also wanted to look after them. I was too ill to be able to do that. So it was like a circle
of everyone is traumatised and wanting to look after each other. – I mean, it is normal not to be like, it doesn’t matter, ’cause it matters. But it is normal for those
close to us to feel it, too. But that’s part of their process. It actually really has
nothing to do with you, it’s their own ability to
process what’s going on. They even talk about, similar
to family dynamics and stuff, that there can be generational trauma. And they call it
trans-generational trauma, ’cause it moves from
generation to generation. So let’s say your parents
grew up in a war-torn country, but they got out and they
don’t live there anymore, but because of the way they behaviorally interact
with people, emotionally. – Their kids could have that, too? – You could have the same symptoms. – Whoa.
– And it could go from generation to generation until someone stops it and talks to therapists, processes it through so they feel better. So they don’t keep passing it on. – Will it always get passed
on, or is it just kind of like it may or may not?
– It may or may not. It kind of depends, I think, how intense your PTSD is, how much of the symptoms
you express to others. – Well, thanks, Katie,
for coming on my channel and talking about this stuff. It’s super interesting, and definitely, once I’ve moved house I’m like, to the GP. – Yeah, yay. – Yeah, I hope you guys liked
this video, found it useful. Please give a thumbs up if you did. And maybe if you’re willing to share any of your processes or
things in the comments that might help other people,
that would be amazing. And I’ll leave links in the description to Katie’s channel and
socials and we did a video on her channel, too, so you
should definitely check that out and we’ll see you soon, bye.
– Bye. (light downtempo techno)

100 thoughts on “Do I have PTSD? with therapist Kati Morton | Hannah Witton

  1. i'm not sure if they qualify as traumatic per se but i've recently been having therapy again for an ongoing mental health issue i've had since childhood and one of my sessions was spent in a hospital retelling a story about something that happened there that was really really distressing, and my experience has been good !!! but a BIG thing is taking it slow (i've had therapy on and off since i was 16 and now i'm 22) and fully trusting your therapist – even though reliving that memory in the location it was made in was difficult, it doesn't have as much of a hold on me now. i really hope things work out for you! having that lingering fear is not a nice feeling at all 💗

  2. Hannah! I wish I had your strength and resilience. I’m so sorry you are going through all this. I was very sad to see you are back in the hospital. There is no doubt that would have an effect on your mental health. Sending you hope and encouragement!

  3. Thanks for talking about this. Somatic experiencing was key in my trauma recovery. Even now that the trauma is behind me, being aware of how my emotions sit in my body has been such a helpful tool for managing everyday stress and anxiety.

  4. #katiFAQ  Hi kati ☄ How are U ?! 
    Just i want to say that i really love you and love all your videos so keep going 😍💪✌
    Just i have a question …I struggling with self harm and I found that I have a homophopia " blood phobia " I know this so werid but it just about other's blood and my blood like one time I cut my self accidently and I feel like my heart will get out of me , I had a Nausea , dizziness and I don't know why ?  And when they take a blood sample from me or from any one I feel the same..
    Another time I was cutting some lemon and I hurt my self by acceident it was a too small cut but suddenlly I start crying so badly and when I finish I feel like why I was crying ?! I don't know … and there are more …
    Just i want to ask you is thid normal ? To have a homophobia for a self harmer ?! And why is that happend ?!
    I know my qusetion maybe so counfused but please I wish that you can help me … 😭😢

  5. i have PTSD from rare/chronic illness and medical malpractice. never have i ever heard that illness is one of the more common causes of PTSD. i don't remember the last time i felt this validated. thank you to the both of you for this video and to hannah for being so open about your journey <3 sending love from one sick kid to another

  6. Thank you so much for this video, Hannah! I was recently diagnosed with PTSD after a severe injury/hospital visit and have felt embarrassed to tell people that, even like employers as an explanation for absences at work. I felt a bit of imposter syndrome because, as you mentioned, PTSD is most often associated with veterans of war. So I felt like I didn't really have the right to claim that diagnosis, even though a doctor told me that's what I had. But this was such a helpful video to know a) don't be hard on myself because this type of PTSD is common and legit b) the coping methods Kati explained were so great. I'm in therapy and on medication to treat my PTSD and have moved back home for a bit to recover, but this conversation was another very helpful layer of healing for me, so thank you so much!!! Also, I know you're currently back in hospital, so sending you well wishes <3 <3 <3

  7. I've never been to get help, but i'm pretty sure i have PTSD from my pregnancy. it was horrible. I had severe Hyperemesis Graviderum. And was in hospital for almost 3 months. the first 2 months I lost 45lbs because I couldn't keep anything down. I ended up having to get a g-tube(feeding tube) surgically placed into my lower intestine for the entire pregnancy. and I was on about 6 meds just to keep me from throwing up. I could not eat or drink anything by mouth for 7 months. Now when I get hunger pains I start to panic, or if I get the flu or throw up it sends me into a panic attack. It was horrible. But thank god my kid is perfectly healthy and was only 4 days early. Not one problem! This video was helpful and is making me consider talking to someone about it. Thanks you Hannah and Kati!

  8. Thanks for a great video, Hannah and Kati. I'm pretty sure my whole family has trans-generational trauma as my grandparents were Holocaust survivors. It obviously changed everything about them and their lives, but it also completely changed how they parented and how my mum then parented me. I can see it in all of our behaviours, repression of difficult things, the way my family talks about food, politics, tattoos and other things. And one of the biggest things is that we all feel guilty for ever feeling sad or hurt or traumatised by anything because we immediately internally compare it to my grandparents' (and other family members') experiences during the war. I once heard my grandma say to her friend that kids these days are so weak and ungrateful and "how dare they say they've ever known pain or suffering". That kind of mindset makes it really hard to feel 'allowed' to process anything but I am definitely trying through therapy.

  9. thank you so much for making this video. it just reminded me that i need to look into getting therapy for my potential ptsd. i always kinda push those thoughts away

  10. As someone that works in a psychiatric facility, it was interesting to hear you talk about trauma from being sick, because that isn’t one I hear much (our patients are typically pretty severe and can’t leave for awhile.) I also find it interesting that Brits always say “in hospital” while Americans say “in THE hospital.” (Emphasis added for clarity).
    Anyway, your videos are so very helpful and also entertaining. Best wishes from Texas!

  11. This is a wonderful video, Hannah. Thanks so much for opening up about your own experience of trauma, and Kati's advice for how to deal with it is so useful. –Emma

  12. I had brain surgery when I was 17 and the ‘location’ of my trauma was in the post-operative hospital room. Because I found out about my condition (AVM) suddenly after I finally got a scan for headaches, I barely had time to process it/identify as sick before it was removed with surgery. It was only after the surgery, when the thing that could’ve killed me was gone, that I started to identify as sick (trouble walking, talking, no hair) So this took a long time to process. Illness and surgery is about so much more than just ‘oop let’s get this bad thing out of your body’, but those surrounding parts aren’t talked about much. Thank you for talking about it 💖💖

  13. I'm considering talking to someone about potential PTSD (or at least trauma), because it has really taken a toll on me. The thing is, my trauma is because of certain situations regarding my younger sister, and not something that directly happened to me, which makes me feel guilty kind of? I don't know.

  14. This is super interesting! My partner took his own life last year, and I was the one who found him. I obviously carry a lot of trauma from that, and I do experience flashbacks and can be triggered into a traumatic response, but I spent a LOT of time with a therapist talking in depth about the event itself, examining it from all different angles, thinking through different things I could have done in that situation. I obviously have some elements of PTSD bc flashbacks, but I feel like because I've gone so deeply into it in therapy I don't have it as severely as I might have done.

    You're doing a really brave thing by asking for support, and also making your trauma so public. You are clearly incredibly emotionally literate, and it seems like you are processing your trauma in a really healthy way. I hope therapy provides what you need it to, and I wish you rest and health <3

  15. Great video! I've tried EMDR before and thought it was b.s. but I may give it a try again. I have PTSD and my process for processing things has been a lot of stream of consciousness writing. It helps a lot! Sometimes it's better than freaking out the people in your life with your concerns, especially if they are already concerned.

  16. There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said but thank you for your honest and frank interview.

  17. I loved this video. I've been watching Katie since 2012. She's amazing. Hope you're doing okay Hannah 💛

  18. I am a huge fan of Kati and now of you Hannah. I too have a chronic illness and underwent major surgery. My PTSD comes from grief over the loss of a twin like friend, other bereavements and probably my health. The BEST advice I can give people is DO NOT give in to the 'need' to stay strong and carry on. Get help straight away. Your body will thank you. I lost half of mine (almost literally) when my stomach gave up on me for a while. The brain body connection is REAL! Clawing out of this situation is hard and it never needed to happen. This video is SO perfect. You Hannah are absolutely SPOT ON about seeking help and exploring all the options. Fly on, keep posting and know you are helping more people than you'll ever realise. xoxoxoxoxox

  19. I've had a traumatic experience where I almost watched both my parents die in front of me while I was standing just a few feet away and there was nothing I could do(they are ok now). I don't have flashbacks or nightmares but I'm extra paranoid when I don't hear back from people I love right away, thinking the worst. And I'm always scared when they go away for long periods of time without their phone. I don't think it's PTSD but the experience does still affect me.

  20. This was fantastic Hannah! Thanks for introducing me to Kati's channel! So happy you are doing well! Take care love xx ❤️😊

  21. I will say about Talk Therapy is that it may resolve in a way you never expected.

    A woman who is a 2nd mother to me nearly died giving birth (by cesarean) to her last child. While hearing about other people’s c-sections was one of the splinters that made me * burst into fearful tears even at happy, planned c-sections *, I learnt that the core of this marble memory had…how shall I say it briefly…the memory had roots in another area of my life that was a nice addition to the whole story of this child’s birth. 🙃

  22. I unfortunately developed ptsd quite soon after having brain surgery due to the trauma of the whole situation, so I think you’ve done the right thing here hannah and I wish I’d’ve done the same earlier on❤️

  23. I've got PTSD and what was interesting through my treatment was that I have a fear of museums because they smell exactly like hospitals and how not even the thing can trigger but the alike of the thing can trigger

  24. Hannah, I wasn't going to write this but…wth. I was diagnosed with Aggressive Adult Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I'm an old sod so no big loss but, it shows another angle of dealing with trauma. I went through 3 rounds of chemo we call "red death" in America and 6 months later was told that was it and I should get my affairs in order. Knowing that your journey is done (although not having gotten off of the train yet) can be debilitating. It's very hard not to just ball up in bed and stay there. I'm going to copy/paste this on Kati Morton's channel as well to try to help others. What helps me through is a quote from Helen Keller saying; “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet”. Stay strong !!!

  25. Something doesn’t have to be life threatening to cause ptsd though? I didn’t fear for my life when I was raped yet I have ptsd

  26. i loved this video so much. I was referred to a therapist by my GP this February but because of the NHS cuts, the waiting list is 6 months long ! YYAAYY !!!!!
    Also , thank you for informing us about generational trauma .My parents grew up in Yemen .They experienced British occupation , a communist revolution ,and a civil war. I don't suspect my mum having it but i can imagine that my dad does. He's really sceptical and doesn't trust people easily.It's really sad to see . Thank you for making me understand him more <3

  27. I hope that you’re able to get into therapy soon babe. Especially after this second surgery. Thank you for being so candid with us. You’ve been in my prayers. 💕

    PS my sister uses Better Help for online therapy (not spon lol) because she has a baby and finds it hard to make face to face appts. Idk if that’s available in the UK, but it may be helpful until you’re able to get on the tube.

  28. Thank you so much for raising awareness around this mental illness as it’s not as spoken about others such as anxiety and depression! I know the main reason is because it’s relatable to you at this moment in time. But creating a factual and helpful video about it is really fab, thank you!

  29. Can I have PTSD or something because of having a really hard time for a few months? (not wanting to go into details but I experience disassociation and other things quite a bit)

  30. Something that really helped me was writing it down as if i were writing a novel. It's hard to relive what happened and it took me a while and many failed attempts to write but it helped.

  31. fun fact: descendants of holocaust survivors literally have evidence of the trauma in the DNA. just reminded by the mention of intergenerational trauma. anyway, this was rly interesting

  32. Basically everyone in the world suffers from PTSD. Not just military that's for sure. I mean the symptoms.. depression…stress….Self Blame etc etc. We all have it. It's just another word for life.

  33. This video made me realize I've never actually dealt with my traumatic childhood, which has led to me having anxiety and depression which I havent dealt with either and if I ever want to get better I HAVE to go to counselling, thank you both for making me realise this!

  34. My friend doing drugs and basicly going into a drug induced psychosis for 7 days. Its scared me to death. She had no control for so long. She thought she was going to lose her mind forever.

  35. I don’t know if I have any sort of mild PTSD, or if it’s just a trauma without actually turning into PTSD, but I feel like I do after living in Venezuela. I’ve since moved, but there has been two main situations (maybe a few other little ones, but these are the main ones) where I did fear for my life or someone else’s and since then whenever I hear a loud sound (something that reminds me of a gun or a scream that I momentarily think is out of fear) I think that it’s happening again.

  36. Having been hospitalised previously as a 16yr old with an unknown illness I have a slight ptsd. I lay in an uncomfortable bed for over two weeks, not being told anything maybe because of how young i was?, nil by mouth just comatose… Like I just didn't exist for weeks. Turned out I had a twisted Fallopian tube that died inside me resulting in massive infection and pain 😀 I still sometimes smell the scent of infection and it really freaks me out like "oh no its back" It couldn't possibly be back but for a couple seconds my heart drops.

  37. I wish I knew that if I seek some help with issues I'm having that I'd be guaranteed to talk to someone like Kati Morton. The one time I had some counseling the lady was not a good fit for me at all and I feel like I'll have less options in the area I live in now, especially with the more in depth help I might need. I keep intending to try and find a free service online where I could briefly speak to someone about what's going on and then be referred to wherever I should start that I could actually manage in my location. I have nearly talked to my regular doctor about it like 3 different times. I don't think I can do it. She's nice and all, but I cry just thinking about it. If anyone can point me in the right direction that'd be cool. Thanks.

  38. I had two traumas in my early youth, from an abusive relationship with a stepfather when i was 13 and my father having a very serious accident and almost dying when i was 15. First i dealt with it by shoving it down and pretending it didnt happen or that it didnt affect me at all. I would go to school when my dad was in the hospital and be a complete stone face. My brain could not process the trauma at all at the time. Later on i started to have PTSD type symphtoms. I had flashbacks of it happening again when my dad didnt pick up the phone and i also developed some level of a panic disorder.
    When i was 18 i wanted to start to deal with it. I was studying psychology in school and i understood the idea of "once you can talk about it without it affecting you, means you have processed it". At that time i had never ever spoken about what happened to anyone. So i just started to talk about it with people. I would just tell my story to relatives, friends, really just anyone who listened. First times it was so hard to even get the words out without crying or having a panic attack. But every time the more times and people i told it to it got easier and i felt 100000 times lighter. Now im able to talk about it without my body reacting to it and i know i have processed it.

  39. This was fantastic to come across. I had 6 big surgeries , back to back, in less than three years. The whole time I was in survival mode. I was being brave for family and pushing through to appease my Dr. As a result, my mind is stuck in fight or flight which has left me hyper aware of my body and surroundings.

    I’ve always known this is PTSD but my therapist was not willing to have the discussion. Wish there were more trauma educators in my area.

  40. In April 2016 I was rushed to hospital to have emergency surgery to have my appendix removed and an ovarian cyst removed and it was a very traumatic experience for me even though it’s something that lots of many people go through. A year later I had another ovarian cyst and a couple of months after that I had another cyst. Now, every time I get even slightly ill, I get panic attacks because I think that I will end up needing surgery and I feel like I’m back in the moment. I get ‘flashbacks’ to being in hospital and being in pain. I don’t know if it’s ptsd but I definitely am traumatised by the experience.


  42. I started to have really bad flashbacks between 1 and 2 weeks after the extended trauma ended (nearly two years ago now) and they still happen. I see a mental health nurse for other things (I have autism and see her to make sense of the world and stuff), she's tried to talk to me about my flashbacks but when she tries I start to get another one, so feel I can't. But I've never asked for a diagnosis or specific treatment. I was wondering, is recreating the trauma, or aspects of the trauma, normal with flashbacks? I don't know if I have PTSD but sometimes when I'm really struggling with it, it can make me feel calmer by recreating aspects but that makes no logical sense..?! One thing from the traumatic time was that I wasn't in the dark or quiet for about a year and I hated that but when I'm having flashbacks, and only when I'm having a flashback, I won't sleep in the dark and need the light and TV on, to kind of recreate it..?? Is that common? Is it a form of self-sabotage?

  43. PTSD has controlled me since I was 6. Now I’m 16 and standing up to it. Watching this made me realise I’m not alone.

  44. I don't know whether or not I have or have ever had PTSD. I have buddies who saw combat in Vietnam and have been diagnosed with it but while I was in the military from 1970 – 1972 I didn't see any combat.

    Still … the unit I was in was a guard company and if you had to go around and wake up the next watch – you did NOT touch someone. You'd turn on the light, make some noise, kick their bunk – but you did NOT touch them. Touching someone was very likely to get you punched in the mouth.

    When I got out, I had a few incidents where … someone touched me and I responded … but I never actually hit anyone. The thing with that – is that that has never really gone away. What I do now, if someone touches me to wake me up – is to open my eyes and say in dead seriousness "Never do that again."

    I've had other incidents in my life that were really upsetting and something can come along like … seeing something innocuous on TV – that will trigger a memory, it comes right back and I'll get upset.


  45. EMDR has definitely been helpful for me. Ive only ever had 2 EMDR sessions but the last one was a few days before my trauma anniversary. I was having nightmares more frequently and I was getting worse mentally and my therapist thought it would help. I was able to process the traumatic event so much more than just in my own head. It's definitely important to be comfortable with your therapist because you need to be able to feel safe with them. This is such an intense and vulnerable form of therapy so please take care of yourself

  46. when i was younger i was diagnosed with ptsd but i’m so lucky to have overcome it with age – though i do sometimes still experience it. thanks a lot for this , very interesting

  47. I just did my re-certification course to be a wilderness first responder in the US, and we were told that the language is changing gradually from PTSD to PTSR (post traumatic stress response). My instructor explained that the thinking is that PTS is a normal response to an abnormal situation. PTS is not, therefore, a disorder. It would be so great if this change lessened stigma as well.

  48. I'm sorry Hannah but you don't have PTSD. PTSD is one of the most over used diagnosis currently being thrown about. It is very trendy now to say I have PTSD. Il am a disabled vet and live with men who have real PTSD. Yes, what you have gone through is horrible but doesn't rise to the level of what would cause true PTSD. I'm sure I have caused you and your followers outrage but that is how I see it.

  49. I can only agree: The surgery is not the worst. The time in hospital where you feel sick and wait for something you don't know what is, that is the worst.

  50. I just now saw this video. I too was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2001. I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink water for the first five days I was in the hospital. When I was finally allowed, I was only allowed to eat clear liquids and jello for the first few days. The flavor they gave me the most was lime. It would seem silly to most people, but I have a fear of lime jello, and it hasn’t subsided over the past 17 years.

  51. Thank you so much for this video. Very informative. I had a bad experience (SF earthquake) about 30 years ago and it seems likely that I has some PTSD. It took a couple of years but it did seem to go away. But it wasn't until the 20th anniversary of the event that I could really call it done. I spent a half a day watching YouTube videos of news reports and peoples' experiences of that day.

  52. hannah, i just wanted to tell you… because of your video i realised i might have ptsd and did a self referral and i now recently completed cbt. it was so hard facing my trauma for 12 weeks but it made my life so much better. i feel like i'm more like myself again and i started enjoying life a bit more again and i just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. thank you so much for talking about all those things that others don't talk about. thank you, thank you, thank you. sending so much love your way 🙂

  53. GREAT Video you're VIDEO'S helped me Learning to Think and being Parallel Universe about Perfumes ii borrowed Errol Blue from The Cupboard next to the paints

  54. I keep questioning whether I would have PTSD from being in hospital when I was younger, whenever I hear about PTSD it's in refence with Veteran's, I feel like I'm making a big fuss out of nothing.

    I was recently back in hospital and it completely buggered me up mentally. I have a fear of hospitals and needles because of what I went through when I was younger, It just brought everything back, I was petrified all the way through my recent experience there. I'm finding it hard to cope afterwards, as I didn't really realise the stress I was feeling until I was out of that situation.

  55. But the abuse I underwent never made me fear for my life but it's still a trauma? I'm curious about this.

  56. So my mam has cancer, for the second time, but hearing about her sickness with the chance she would die was more traumatic for me then the process to get better with chemo therapy and surgery. When I told someone about my trauma, the therapist replied 'you shouldn't call that a trauma'. I got angry about that and he explained himself: 'trauma should be used for very heavy and traumatic events'.

  57. I’m in the field of Holocaust Studies and something we’re really focusing on right now is the trauma passed through that genocide particularly to the children of holocaust survivors

  58. I'm late to discovering your work, that's amazing, thank you ! Also is that friend of yours who had surgeries and PTSD Michelle Elman? Cause I've found you via her 🙂

  59. I don't think it has to be life-threatening – just something that you're completely incapable of dealing with. Say that – as a very blunt example – I got high and stabbed somebody to death. That's not life-threatening for me, and that may not have been anybody I felt a connection to, but it's still not memories that I'm able to deal with sober.

  60. I done EMDR when I was 14 (I have CRPS and it fucking ruined my life at 12 years old by making my disc rupture overnight only to wake up on CHRISTMAS MORNING TO A LIFELONG DISABILITY)

    And it helps you retell the story but I still feel like I’m back there sometimes. It doesn’t entirely take it away but it helps you think about it afterwards without automatically shutting down

  61. I don’t know if either of you will see this, but I wanted to thank you for making this video. I found this in a time as I was trying to come to terms with my trauma. This video gave me the confidence to go to therapy, which I’ve now been doing for quite a while now, and I’m happy to say it’s been incredibly helpful! Thank you to Hannah for being so honest and vulnerable and to Kati for taking the time to educate. I owe my marbles to you!

  62. I've had 2 very severe hospitalizations & when you talked about the trauma from 'the room' I started crying. I also started thinking about my experiences from the recent hospitalization & that didn't really help the crying. I've been thinking of talking to a therapist but am terrified of being called depressed & anxious like my sister is.

  63. If anyone wants more insight on trauma disorders and ptsd, flashbacks etc, I suggest checking out DissociaDID.

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