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Dealing with Chronic Illness


dealing with chronic illness. if you’ve
got a chronic illness–anything that you’re going to continue to have that is
significant enough to affect your life– then you have a lot going on and you’re
finding yourself in a difficult situation. it’s the daily battle the
daily battle of dealing with the symptoms dealing with whatever the pain
is whatever the cure is or the relief or the things that you have to do whether
it’s exercise whether it’s sleep more whether it’s take medication go to
therapy take supplements that is a daily battle each morning you get up each
morning you have to deal with it it’s hard takes time takes money it takes
effort and it can be exhausting now the other thing that you’re faced with is
every day you wake up you don’t know how you’re gonna feel you make plans you
would love to go do those things you plan on doing those things you wake up
and maybe you don’t feel good and you can’t do those things you have to be
flexible your schedule changes there’s a lot of loss with that there’s a lot of
discouragement a lot of effort that goes into making plans and then having to
make a call that says I can’t go I can’t show up it’s painful and it’s difficult
to face that kind of mountain that you have to cross in order to be able to say
you know yeah I’ll be there or maybe I won’t be there then the other thing is
the loss of things that you can’t do because there are undoubtedly some
things that you actually cannot do and you’ve got to let go of those things it
might be things that have been really really important to you that you now are
no longer possible there’s a lot of loss that comes with that then there’s that
desperation to get a cure or relief from your symptoms so you’re always watching
and listening to the myriad of people who are saying I can cure that with just
this pill or with just this therapy and people telling you all you have to do is
this and you know when we have chronic illness different things work for
different people so it’s sometimes hard to find the right things that will
provide you with some relief even if it’s not a cure yet that takes time that
takes money it’s trial and error sometimes something that works stops
working and then you’ve got to try something again so there’s just always
this kind of ear open to finding out you know what is the latest cure or another
possibility I can try and people that aren’t dealing with chronic illness you
know may not understand that then there’s often depression and anxiety
that goes along with it because you know you’ve got you’re enduring some pain or
some loss or some insecurity of not knowing how things are going to be and
that results in depression and anxiety so it’s pretty easy to figure out that
the person that is struggling with the chronic illness has things that they are
dealing with but what about the person that is in a relationship with somebody
with a chronic illness close to that person say a spouse a boyfriend a parent
who’s a caregiver or a parent of a child you know like even with it maybe it’s a
young adult or a teenager or a younger child that has a chronic illness what
does that caregiver go through and often I find that the caregivers don’t give
themselves credit for what they’re dealing with and the person with the
chronic illness because that person is so hyper focused on their own symptoms
and their own struggles which are huge they don’t tend to give the person that
is supporting them the credit or the freedom to be able to say gosh this is
hard for me too because there’s that feeling of well maybe it’s not this hard
for you because you’re not the one that’s got the pain true not the one
that has the actual pain which is better however comparing the difficulty that
two people have never helps because it just makes one person feel discounted
and unheard so how about just realistic we acknowledge that the person that is
struggling with someone with close to them with a chronic illness is also
suffering and there is increased stress of having to deal with those things
there’s an increase load because there are certain things that the person with
the chronic illness cannot do and a person the caregiver the person close to
them has to pick up the slack and do that there’s the loss of the things when
you’re you know say in a partner relationship a spouse
boyfriend/girlfriend if you can’t do it then most likely you’re you know partner
isn’t going to be able to do that so that person has limitations also and
those limitations are losses for that person just like they’re a loss for you
some being flexible if you get up in the morning and you can’t go then it’s
highly likely like I said that your partner can’t go and then that’s gonna
be having that partner has to be adjustable and flexible too but that
person is entitled to feel disappointed to be upset to feel whatever feelings
come as a result of that just like you are if you have the chronic illness and
then there can also be depression in that person because when you watch
somebody suffering it’s easy to have those feelings cut or rub off and you
especially if the caregiver feels responsible for trying to fix it or
change like a parent would dealing with a child even if it’s an adult child
that’s struggling with something that’s difficult like an illness so you’re
gonna feel all of that heavy weight and the depression that comes with that with
feeling in the end maybe you know I can’t fix it and I have to learn how to
accept it there’s loss with that too so best not to compare the best thing to do
is to have empathy for each other to acknowledge that both of you are
struggling with the stressors involved with chronic illness in the family in
your partner in a child and a parent and that as a caregiver you are also
struggling with that let each person be honest about their feelings about what’s
going on without getting reactive and feeling like you have to defend yourself
and give that person the empathy that that person deserves
12 15 through 16 rejoice with those who rejoice mourn with those who mourn live
in harmony with one another so I like that scripture because it talks about
empathizing rejoice with someone who’s rejoicing and mourn with somebody who’s
mourning so basically for us to get along when
we’re dealing with chronic illness we need to be able to empathize so again
thank you for watching this video and change my relationship and please check
out my books and studies on my website at changed my relationship calm thank
you you

3 thoughts on “Dealing with Chronic Illness

  1. You described my life. I really don't think people understand it at all. And, some people will say…..you look o.k.! I ask for prayer please.

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