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Crazy Exes Rant | THE BIG BLOWUP


(upbeat music) – In honor of Rachel Bloom
being on the show today, we thought we’d rant about
crazy ex-girlfriends. – Uh-huh. It’s time for The Big Blow Up: Crazy Exes Edition. – Ready, set, rant! – You first. – I hate when my ex blocks me on Facebook because I keep liking her
profile photos from 2007. Why are they still there if
you don’t want me to like them? (audience laughs) – I hate how my ex would constantly mangle
common, everyday expressions. Why do you think the expression is “for all intensive purposes” and “it’s a doggy dog world”? Gah, getting dumped by you
was a blessing in disguise. – I hate when my ex texts
me late at night, “You up?” You know I’m up. I can’t sleep, I have horrible
insomnia and painful TMJ, so stop rubbing it in my face. – I hate that your cat isn’t
around anymore to lick my feet. I miss that. (audience laughs) Now I have to pay a man $20 on Craigslist. His name is Jim. His tongue’s not rough enough. (audience laughs) – I hate when my ex goes
to the first restaurant I introduced her to. McDonald’s was our thing. I’ll die before I watch you
eat a McRib with someone else. – I hate how my ex always
put the toilet paper on the wrong way. I mean, who puts the toilet paper wrong, in the under position. I hate having to reach down and feeling like I’m about
to fall off the seat. What kind of toilet-less
wolves raised you? – I hate when my ex doesn’t
realize we ever dated. I’ve been to three of
your concerts, Rihanna, front row every time. We made eye contact, we had a thing. Some people might
consider that second base. Call me. – Didn’t happen. I hate how my ex would watch ahead on the Netflix show we were watching. I can see that you’ve already watched episode four of Gilmore Girls, the little bar is still up. The little bar does not lie! – I hate how long my ex would go before buying a new loofah sponge. The last time she replaced that woven piece of germ covered plastic was when Toby Maguire was Spiderman. Drop the 69 cents and buy a new loofah! – I hate how my ex still
has access to my Netflix. You keep messing up my recommendations because you keep watching Gilmore Girls. You’ve seen it so many times! You already know that Rory
gets pregnant at the end– – What! – and Logan probably is the father– – Spoiler alert! I hate it when I’d ask my
ex what she wanted to eat, and she’d say, “I don’t care,” then I’d say, “Let’s do sushi,” and then she’d say, “I
can’t, I’m allergic,” and then I’d say, “Hello,
what are those EpiPens for?” – I hated that my ex never acknowledged that beautiful bouquet that I made for her out of my trimmed body hair and toenails I spent weeks growing that out. (audience laughs) – I’m very low on mine. I’m gonna try to get it all. I hate– I need yours. I hate that my ex left clumps of her hair in the shower drain. It was never enough. I wanted her to leave more clumps of hair. I loved her hair. – I don’t have another rant, I just wanted to say that I love my wife, and I’m totally content, and I don’t really think
about my exes at all– – But I loved her hair, it was so cool and black. It was Rihanna’s hair. (audience laughs) – Oh, that’s not true. Thank you for liking,
commenting, and subscribing. – You know what time it is – Hello, this is Ethan from Michigan, and it’s time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality. – Thanks, Ethan. Click the bottom link
to watch this episode from the beginning. – And click the top link to
watch us talk to the crew about their crazy online dating stories, and good mythical more! – And to find out where
the Wheel of Mythicality is going to land. – [Announcer] we have
kids sizes for our GMM and our I Am A Mythical Beast t-shits available at mythical.store.

100 thoughts on “Crazy Exes Rant | THE BIG BLOWUP

  1. link sounded like a little kid just wasted 20 dollars buying flowers for a girl, and then the girl rejected him when he said "I spent weeks growing that out" I laughed so hard!

  2. I never got Links reference on Gilmore Girls. Here I am, rewatching their helium rants while being in the 5th season in Gilmore Girls; I finally understand the spoiler. I don't know if I should be of the sudden understanding amused or be upset–

  3. Link is not that funny cause he looks like he has that kind of voice but I still love link he's funny In other vids

  4. When I watched this video I was literally on season 5 of Gilmore Girls and I really hope Link made up the thing about Rory getting pregnant

  5. Rhett, we get it you love Rhiana. I think the only reason she hasn't been on the show is becasue you are too chicken to be around her. You'll just be uncomforable the entire time.

  6. In some of the episodes of season 13, they don’t say “Let’s Talk About That.” EXCUSE ME!? I have been watching GMM for the past 6 years and they have said “Let’s Talk About That” in every single episode…I hate this.

  7. oh my gosh, I absolutely love you two. You guys are so, so, so, so funny and when I am down I know I can look up to you guys to give me a good laugh. I just decided to go on your helium rants because not to be mean Rhett but Link has a funnier helium voice. One of my favorite of your quotes is still Links " I hate dogs that go to community college" and " I hate that your cat isn't around to lick my feet" and " I want you to leave more clumps of your hair. I love your hair"

  8. 2:48
    Now I kinda feel sorry for Link when he said the bouquet took him weeks and he sounded like he was gonna cry
    I would have acknowledged that
    I love you both

  9. Your ex shouldn’t be allowed to use your Netflix to watch Gilmore girls…
    I would just delete Netflix

  10. LOL. They should do a blow up about each other. Once again Rhett's obsession with Rihanna is brought up. They show try to get her on the show. It would make him so happy.

  11. LOL. They should do a blow up about each other. Once again Rhett's obsession with Rihanna is brought up. They show try to get her on the show. It would make him so happy.

  12. Love these rants they have going on rn XD Also, get Rihanna on the show already! I wanna see her reaction to how many times Rhett has declared his love for her.

  13. Link sounds so sad at 2:49. I wanna give him a hug 😢😢
    Actually he sounds sad at most things he ranted about 😢😢😥😥

  14. Literally died from the cuteness at 3:20. Get you a man like Link who'll proclaim his love for you with helium voice

  15. I did not expect this when I clicked on this, I DIED LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!! PS I absolutely love Gilmore Girls and have seen every episode three times including a Year In The Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. "I don't have a rant i just wanted to say I love my wife."
    Aww. I would think that was sweet if he didn't spend 3 minutes ranting aboutg his ex.

  17. Can we have another episode like this lol the person in the cubicle next to me knows I am not working because of how hard im laughing now. This job isn't that fun lol

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