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CGR Undertow – THEY BLEED PIXELS review for PC


So I�ve been trying to do more PC gaming.
There seems to be a greater democracy of ideas there, combinations and permutations that
any of the major console players would just balk at. Take, for example, the frantic, super-gory
tale of a new enrollee at the Lafcadio Academy for Troubled Young Ladies, who happened once
upon a time upon a book covered in blood… that turned her into a weird, pincer-armed
killing machine, and trapped her in a hellish dreamscape of Lovecraftian horror, with the
goal of collecting pages of that fell tome and finding her way out before the inevitable
tide of Edgar Allen Poe references does her in. And it�s an action platformer. And it�s
really freaking awesome, even if you find the �jam gothic fiction tropes into freakin�
everything� trend of the last couple years a little overwrought. (Much like said prose.) They Bleed Pixels – which, as you can plainly
see, they certainly do, all over freakin� everything – is a heavily stylized platformer
with an evolved, adaptable combat element. Think of it as N+ meets The Shadow Over Innsmouth
meets Oneechanbara, rendered lovingly in an oldschool pixel-heavy style. Your path to
the exit in each massive stage is impeded by any number of shambling horrors, flying
cephalopod bastards, diminutive villains with huge knives, and other such evils… not like
you�re much better. After all, you�ve got two huge pincer-things for arms. While
they�re not that useful for picking up delicate objects, they ARE good for impaling the hell
out of zombie-looking things, delivering upward and downward slash attacks, and for latching
onto walls. But while you can certainly wear down enemies with your natural weaponry, it�s
much more efficient – and unmistakably badass – to instead kick them either laterally or
vertically, using the terrain�s natural proclivity toward blood-stained spikes to
your immediate advantage. Man, do they love their spikes. Getting through each stage is rather a huge
task, and you�re stuck with just 3HP. But with every blob of eldritch floating blood
you collect and each sanity-reducing horror you dispatch, you begin to fill the gauge
in the top-left of the screen. Once it caps out, a purple aura envelops our heroine; stand
still long enough in a stable, safe area, and she�ll automatically generate a checkpoint
and refill her health. It seems like a novel idea at first – literally dropping save points
wherever you wish, like it�s some kind of hyperextended North Crater and you�re about
to spar with Sephiroth. But it flows exceptionally well with the run-and-gun-and-kick-into-buzzsaws
gameplay that�s all pixel-precise platforming one moment and merciless, blood-soaked carnage
the next. And just to mix things up, a couple bonus levels are included; one such stage
offers candy for offing monsters in interesting ways, turning this monstrosity from mere hardcore
action platformer to hardcore action PUZZLE platformer. �lolHorror� games of this
quality make me think I might owe the Hot Topic crowd an apology for things I�ve said
in the past. But then I�d be in a mall, and I wouldn�t think twice about using them
as zombie bait.

26 thoughts on “CGR Undertow – THEY BLEED PIXELS review for PC

  1. I just can't get past this ONE fucking level that just goes on forever.
    That's why I rarely play this awesome game anymore, prevent the same fate, and buy this game and beat it.

  2. Because this computer does what I need it too do and I don't have the money to get a new one. Once this computer finally dies, then I will go out and get a new computer that is more powerful, but until then, I'm not going to go out and buy a computer just because this one can't play games, when I have numerous other options to play games.

  3. This game looks like it has a fun concept going on, but I cant say I like all the minimal use of color. Having all the surfaces being solid black with white outlines just makes the levels seem boring. Maybe some people like it and call it style, but it just kind of looks like they designed the game mechanics but didn't feel like getting an artist to flesh out the visuals.

  4. Is that the horror-based brawler/beat'em'up? That game is awesome… and difficult. I play it all the time.

  5. Usually I'd make someone feel like shit for whoring their wares on youtube videos, especially when their stuff is complete shit. In this case I'll make an exception, because I actually want to play your game and see it reviewed.

  6. Girl looks like a sister of Edward Scissorhands. And I could hear the Space Invaders cannon shot in there.

  7. This game instantly looked boring. I'm kinda tired of the "retro" fad. Want more stuff like Trine or Twisted Dreams.

  8. I'd say that the biggest reason that retro is so popular is that, for a developer, it can often, but not always, be slightly easier to deal with. As far as why gamers like it, I'd say for the nostalgic reasons, and they tend to be more difficult. (less focus on graphics, more focus on gameplay)

  9. I watched twice and I'm sure that you didn't rate the game. That makes it more like a "let's look at" than a review. Only subtle tells like "satisfying combat". Hmm

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