Disease Treat

Know About Ulcers Blog

Can I Get Pregnant/Have Kids with a Stoma? | Hannah Witton


– Hi, everyone, my name’s Hannah, I have a stoma, and one
day, I wanna have kids. So, how does that happen,
how does having a stoma affect pregnancy and birth,
and all of that stuff? Before we get into things, I feel like I’ve got a few
disclaimers I need to make. One, not a doctor, just somebody
with ulcerative colitis, and an ileostomy, and also
someone who wants to be pregnant and have kids some point. And the second disclaimer, because I posted on my social media that I was making this video and asked for any questions you have, and a lot of them were,
(popping) “Are you pregnant?” (chuckles) No, I’m not pregnant, so we can clear the air with
that one, I’m not pregnant. I’m not currently trying to get
pregnant, no, not right now. So because I’m not a doctor, and because I’m not currently pregnant, this isn’t going to be a video filled with loads of
information about that. It’s more about the
decision-making process, what options are available to me, and the things that I currently
know where I’m at now, in my journey of having
a stoma, and all of that. So a lot of things have happened. There has been some
information given to me by consultants recently at an appointment, and it’s just all part of the journey. So I thought I would share. And also one of the things that I found from asking for
questions on social media, some people who have got
ostomies and have had kids, were replying and giving
lots of information, which basically means that I probably just
have more questions now, so many questions, I’m the
one with the questions, I have so many questions. But like I said, it’s part of the journey, and I have been sharing with you my whole journey with this online, and so this feels like
an appropriate update, ’cause these are things I’m
thinking about at the moment. So where do we begin? First of all, yes, I can
potentially get pregnant, it is possible for me to get pregnant and have a vaginal birth with a stoma. So that was one of the first
things that I asked my doctors and also one of the first things that they kind of like told me as well, they were like, “You can still
have kids the natural way, “the biological way,
vaginally,” and all of that. So that’s good news, but obviously, there’s loads of other different factors that come into like, if you can have kids and if you give birth vaginally or not, that might be impacted by other
things, and not by my stoma. That’s why I’m saying,
potentially, I can do that, my stoma might not
necessarily be the thing that stops me from doing those things. So here’s the thing, even
though doctors and nurses were telling me, “Yes,
you can get pregnant,” like, “it’s all fine like,
we’ll obviously monitor you,” and all of that stuff, I still couldn’t get my head around it because all of the images that I have seen of pregnant people are like skinny white women with like, massive bumps, but if you looked at them from behind, you wouldn’t be able to tell
that they were pregnant, like that is the image
of a pregnant person that I have in my head,
because that is all I’ve seen, other than like, people
walking down the streets, but they have clothes on. So I don’t know, like,
what’s on like, underneath, like, do they have stoma
bags or not, I don’t know. So I went to Google Images, and just searched pregnant with stoma, and found some photos of
people who are pregnant, with stomas, it just made me realise that I’ve just never seen that before, and I think I really needed
to see it to believe it, it was just really helpful
for me to see that imagery. Like to me, that was almost
more proof that it was possible than just a doctor simply
telling me that it was possible. And this is why
representation matters people, like it is so important
to be able to see yourself and be able to see your
body or like who you are, like doing the things in
life that you want to do and see examples of that. So that was a bit of a moment for me, looking at all those pictures, I was like, “Okay, yeah, pregnant bellies “with a stoma bag attached to
them, okay, this is a thing.” So we know it’s possible. However, there’s some other
stuff going on with my body that we need to discuss. First, basically, I
technically, at the moment have a temporary stoma, which means I can have
further surgery to reverse it and create an internal J-pouch, which I don’t know all that much about because, like I said, I’m not a doctor, if you wanna find out more, google it, but I had been receiving different kind of contradictory messages from different healthcare professionals that I was talking to about
whether or not it was possible to have a pregnancy and give
birth if you had a J-pouch. Some were saying, “Yeah,
it’s totally fine, others were saying, “no, you can’t,” others were saying, “yes, it’s fine, “but you’ll have to have a C section.” It was all a bit confusing, and this was coming from
like the different IBD and stoma nurses that I was talking to. I was basically waiting for an appointment with my consultant. So a few months ago, I
finally got an appointment with the colorectal
surgeon, consultant person, at my hospital to talk through
my options, my options. So the reason why my stoma is temporary and I can have this further
surgery to reverse it, if I would want to, it’s
because I still have my rectum and they need your rectum in place to be able to do that
fiddly, surgeon-y things and create this new internal
pouch system inside. So in my future, there is further surgery that is either a J-pouch
surgery or I remove my rectum and then I have a permanent stoma. Now here’s the kicker, this
is when things changed for me, this is when life decisions got altered. ’cause I’ve always known
that I wanted to have kids, and I’m with my partner who
also wants to have kids, so we’ve had that
conversation, but in our heads, it wasn’t imminent, it
wasn’t anytime soon. But basically what the
consultant said to me, and this was also later
confirmed by another consultant at a different appointment that I had, is that further surgery,
whether that is J-pouch or removal of the rectum will dramatically decrease my fertility. And here’s the other kicker, oh, so many kickers, they don’t know why, they don’t know why, and you
know what, I’ve got a hunch that it’s got to do with
the fact that there’s not that much research done
into women’s health. Although I feel like with pregnancy, that’s the one that they
do the most research on, they’re just like, “We don’t know.” Yeah, both consultants
were basically saying, “We observe in people after their surgery “that their fertility decreases. “However, they don’t
know why that happens, “they just know that it does happen.” So the reason why the
first surgery that I had, to remove my colon,
doesn’t affect my fertility is because it’s abdominal surgery, so it’s like higher up
and in your intestines, however, the removal of the rectum or the creation of the J-pouch surgery, that all happens low
down in the pelvic area. And so they think it’s got
something to do with the fact that you’re meddling around with organs that are around the uterus, and it’s all like near the womb,
and the ovaries, and stuff, and they don’t know whether
it just disrupts the organ or moves stuff around in a way that means that you can’t get pregnant, or maybe after the surgery,
like scar tissue forms inside in a way that means those
organs like don’t work as well, they’re just like, “Oh, we
don’t know, it just happens.” So great. (laughing) Come on, (snapping
fingers) come on science, we can do better, we
can do better science. (sighs) You might be thinking, “Do I have to make this decision now, “can I not just put off this
further surgery for a J-pouch “or for a permanent stoma
20, 30 years in the future, “like, do I really need “to be making further
surgery decisions now?” Because the other thing
that the consultant told me is that because my previous surgeries have been open surgery,
it wouldn’t be safe to do keyhole for the next one. So basically, I know that I’m gonna have further open surgery again, which sucks. I’m actually really bummed out about that, more than any of the other news, like that is the news that
I’m most bummed out about, but I’m like, “I’ve recovered
from open surgery twice before “I can do it again.” (sighs) So is there a rush? Yes, there kind of is
a rush because cancer, that’s a really big word
just to throw in there. But basically, the longer
that we just leave my rectum, this is my rectum, hi,
the longer we leave that just like hanging out in my
body as a little rectal stump, apparently, my chances of
getting rectal cancer increase, so it’s in the longer you leave it, the, like, higher your chances get. And so they don’t like leaving it just hanging out there for very long, that’s why they like
to do further surgery, like as soon as you
want, basically, so yeah. So this was something that
I kind of had an inkling of, because I was hearing different things from different nurses, but then
when I had this appointment, and they were like, “Okay, “so your risk of cancer will increase “the longer that you keep your rectum “just hanging out there. “And so it means that you do need “further surgery, sooner
rather than later, “but also, you probably wanna have kids “if you do want to have kids before.” Takes a long time to have children, especially if you want more than one, like we’re talking years here. (vocalising) So I called Dan, (chuckles) and we basically just
pushed everything forwards. No, not that simple. Well, it kind of is that simple,
actually, it’s just like, “Okay, so we have to have
kids, soon, I guess.” But not right now, we’re not trying, we don’t have like a date in mind in terms of like when
we’re gonna start trying, but we’re just like a bit more aware of the timeline that we have. And there also isn’t really
a strict timeline on like, this is your cutoff date of like when you’ll need
to have the surgery, it is kind of flexible. Like they didn’t seem in too much of a rush, the consultant, the consultant was just like,
“Go and complete your family,” that’s the medical term for
it, complete your family, “and then come back and
we’ll talk about surgery.” What a word it’s like, must tick that box off the
life checklist, very strange. But the other thing is that I’m currently getting
colitis symptoms in my rectum, so I have some inflammation there. I am currently taking
steroids suppositories to, like, keep it at bay, and that’s actually been working wonders and really, really helping, and I have to have regular
monitoring of my rectum, so I’ve got another flexible
sigmoidoscopy coming up soon, which is where they put a
little camera up your bum. So they’re checking for more information, and they take biopsies, and they also check
for precancerous cells. So even though I’ve been
given all of this information, and that is going to
help me and my partner come up with our plan and
know what our options are and make a decision, sometimes the decision gets made for you. Like if my inflammation gets really bad, and they’re just like, we
should just remove this rectum, or if at one of these tests that I have, they do find precancerous cells, and they’re just like, (clicks)
let’s just take it out. So I’m also very aware that
I might not get a choice in the matter, depending on
what my body wants to do. Bodies have a mind of
their own, how dare they? Oh, and I feel like I should also say, in terms of the further
surgery that I’ll have, I am leaning more towards
having my rectum removed and having a permanent
stoma than having a J-pouch. And maybe I’ll make a whole other video about the pros and cons and
weighing those two things up. If you would like to
see that, let me know. So where we’re at now
is monitoring my rectum and seeing what’s going on
there, and kids, soon-ish. But not right now, still. So yeah, that’s where we’re at. So this might sound
weird, but hear me out. Obviously, I’ve already told my parents and some close friends
about my recent appointments and everything that is going on, and I have this like battle in my head about it like being unfeminist, or like, not unfeminist,
but a bit reckless, maybe, like having kids under 30, ’cause like, everyone has kids
like when they’re over 30 now and I’m still under 30. And I’m like, “Oh, is that bad?” People are gonna think
that I’m young and silly, and unfeminist, oh, I don’t know. This is a lot of like
internal hogwash in my head. Oh my God, did I say hogwash,
hogwash, poppy, poppygosh. And it always feels like a weird relief that I can give this medical excuse for having kids earlier than
just like, “I wanted to.” I don’t know why that
puts me at ease more, even though, actually, ever
since I was really young, I knew that I wanted
to have kids young-ish, like, I knew I wanted
to be like a young mum, but I’m like, in my late 20s, so. I don’t know if that made any sense, but basically, I like that
I have doctor’s orders to like, get a move on,
yeah, that’s my reason. Okay, I know what it is, basically, society is really judgmental about when, if, how people
choose to have children, and so I like that I have this safety net of it’s for health reasons,
actually, (chuckles) just because society is really judgmental about what people do with their wombs. So, I’m like doctor’s
orders, don’t judge me, judge my body that I have no control over whatsoever.
(laughs mockingly) Does that make any sense, I don’t know. Okay, you guys have some questions, and I don’t know if I
have all of the answers, and actually, some of these questions just raised more questions for me, because, oh my God, I have no idea. And I’m sure if, when I do get pregnant, I will be asking all of
these to a professional. Not directly related to
pregnancy/birth, et cetera, but is there a chance of colitis being passed on to any
children you may have? So from what I understand,
IBD is not hereditary, however, it is very prevalent
amongst the Jewish community, or there’s just like a higher
percentage of it in Jews. I am Jewish, no one else in
my immediate Jewish family has ulcerative colitis,
or another form of IBD, and my mum even married a
non-Jew, and I still got it. Um, but no, that’s not
something that I’m worried about because I’m pretty sure
it’s not hereditary. But again, we’ll check
with a professional. This is a great question,
would you have less of a bump as there is more room for the baby inside? I understand the logic of this question because I did have a
very large organ removed. However, the large organ
that I had removed, is here like this, it goes like this, and then there’s my small
intestines in the middle of that, which I still have, it’s just this bit, the big bit that got removed, and then my uterus is
down here, I don’t know, it’s down here somewhere. And that, the womb, is
what the baby goes into, and that expands, so,
and then everything like, moves out of the way. I don’t know, I still
feel like I’ll just have a bump the size of the baby. So Nicola who runs Vanilla
Blush, who makes underwear and swimwear for people with
ostomies, absolutely love her, she said, “Two live births,
post ostomy, two C sections, colorectal surgeon was
present for both of my boys. That’s really interesting,
I didn’t know that, but I guess if there’s
gonna be complications, you need someone there who knows about all of
your gut surgery and stuff. Stoma my measurement was 28 millimetres till I was seven months,
and then it was 55, oh, my God, it basically doubled, and then shrunk 24 hours after C section. There wasn’t an orifice (laughing)
leaking from, oh my God. Okay, that makes sense. So, yeah, I imagine that
it is a bit more of a leak, because like, we can’t like
push output from the stoma, it just kind of like comes out, but thank you so much for sharing. Also, worth noting, in
terms of having a C section that is not the same as the
surgery that I had before. So let me explain by demonstration. So this is my scar, my scar
goes all the way down here, across my belly button, and
this was my surgery scar, this is my stoma, hello, and
however, if I have a C section that will be here and it’ll be horizontal, so it’s like at the top of your pubic bone where you have a C section. Also, this is not a six pack by any means my jeans have just been digging in. Different kind of surgery, different scar. My wife has a stoma
and we just had a baby. It’s tricky, but very possible, restricted where the baby could go, so she showed in a weird way. I don’t know what that means, where the baby could go inside, and she showed in a weird way, she showed like on an ultrasound or she showed like, as she
was coming out of the vagina, she showed in a weird way? Not entirely sure what that means, but it’s tricky, but
possible, that’s good to know. So a lot of people poop when
giving birth, yeah, it’s true because pushing uses those same muscles. Will pushing a baby out
push poo out your stoma? I don’t think so because
I don’t use any muscles to push poo out of my stoma. And if I don’t, will I have to practise
using them for giving birth? I mean, don’t people like practise, like the Kegel exercises
and stuff, anyway, but again, I don’t know. But also, because I still have my rectum, Whenever I get like my inflammation there, I am pushing out like mucus and blood, so I’m still getting some
painful practise in at that. One question that came up a lot was, will my stoma change
size as my stomach grows? And Nicola kind of answered this a bit because in her experience,
has stoma did get bigger, but actually, this is something that I had not even considered until I asked this
question on social media, it just had not crossed my mind. But yeah, maybe for some people it does, maybe for some people it
doesn’t, I don’t know, but I imagine, like with most things,
that it may stretch, but then like as your body like goes back to a non-pregnant body, then it might go back to the
way it was before, who knows? Again, we’ll be asking professionals when I am pregnant, if I get pregnant. Because all your guts go into your ribs, is yours in danger of
not stretching properly? So I can’t remember when this
was, but it was very recently, I think, that I learned
that like all of your organs just like push upwards to
make room for the baby. I was like, “What, what?” But no, I’ve got no idea
how this would work with me. But I technically have less organs, so, I don’t know, I don’t
know where they would go if they would still like go upwards, or like if there is a
bit more space for them, I don’t know, who knows, oh my god! This is really interesting question, “What age would you explain
your stoma to your kids?” I think I would just explain
it when they start asking. I don’t think I’d ever hide it from them. I also imagine that whilst
they’re like still really young, they’ll probably see me naked a lot, so it will just like always be there, it will just always be
a part of their lives. Dan did make a joke after I
had surgery just being like, “Well, you’re not going to be
able to potty train our kids “because you don’t know how to poo.” And I was like, “Excuse me, “I had 25 years of pooing,
I know how to potty train.” (laughs heartily) But yeah,
it is kind of interesting, like you would be potty training kids and just be like, “Okay,
so this is what pooing is, “it’s what you do,” and they’d be like,
“mummy doesn’t do that,” I’d be like yes, “mummy
is special, though.” Hasn’t this been enlightening, for me as well as you maybe? Thank you so much for watching. Please do give the video a
thumbs up if you enjoyed it and let me know in the
comments any more questions that you might have about this, any more videos that you would
like to see on the topic, and also, if you have a stoma and you have been pregnant
or you are pregnant, please, oh my God, share your
experiences in the comments because, wow, there’s a lot to learn, there is a lot to know. And also I feel like
different doctors give people different kinds of information
and different advice, so I would love to hear if your doctors have said anything different to information that I have been given. Don’t forget to subscribe and
hit that notification bell so you don’t miss another video,
and I’ll see you soon, bye. Should I have topped up my lipstick? I think we’re good.

100 thoughts on “Can I Get Pregnant/Have Kids with a Stoma? | Hannah Witton

  1. I also had doctors orders to get move on for health reasons – endometriosis! Best decision we ever made – I got pregnant at 25 and was definitely judged by people! You do you!

  2. Dear Hannah, you are a true hero for me! Thank you for educating people! You are very brave and so lovely. Good luck with everything!

  3. My friends are in a similar situation after one of them was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had to have his testicle removed earlier this year. Luckily the cancer hasn't spread but due to the possibility of reoccurrence his oncologist basically told them they need to have kids sooner rather than later. They got married last year and had planned to do some travelling before having a family but she's now currently expecting their first child. They are of course very happy but it was very much a case of having to change a lot of plans.

    Also I know people who had children under 30 just because they wanted to and they are so happy – for real just do what you want, it's your life after all.

  4. That's really interesting that you've been told IBD is not hereditary because I have always been told it's very strange that I developed Crohn's when there is no family history and that there is a higher chance of any children I have of having it. I was diagnosed over 12 years ago though so maybe information has changed.

  5. Hannah, I am 27 and I have two kids (first was born when I was 21, they both were planned). I think more "unfeminist" is letting ather people decide what you do with your body then having baby before being 30. You are an adult, you already had made life changing decisions in your life, you are mature. I think it's one of those decisions that you never feel ready and mature enough for.
    Love and greetings from Poland

  6. It's obviously easier said than done, but life is so much better when you stop giving a shit about other people's opinions about you and what you do. You do whatever you want to do and whatever is the best option and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise, it's not anyone's place to judge anyone else. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck ❤

  7. Hannah It would be unfemininsit to be judged for having kids young

    Do what ever you and dan want when you want or need to it’s your lives not mine not anyone else’s it’s the two of yours choices

  8. No stomas involved for me/us but this video was still really interesting, learned more about general pregnancy and what happens inside so as we're working on it, yay! Our struggles are different but totally agree that science needs more research around all the issues and not to be so judgmental.

  9. I had two kids by 24, I loved being a young mum, and now I LOVE having an empty nest and being independent and concentrating on my career at 50.. all routes have advantages and disadvantages.

  10. Personally I don't think badly of anyone having kids in their twenties! The only thing that matters is that you are at a stage in your life that you believe you can handle having children and you can provide a good quality of life for them. It just so happens that lots of people aren't ready until their 30s these days but I think you are and I am only ever impressed when others are too.

  11. Please consider adopting children, in a world where we have severe climate and overpopulation crises, choosing adoption over pregnancy is the single most significant decision an individual can make to prevent further damage. Lindsey Doe from Sexplanations made a video called "Should we have kids?" where she explored the different aspects of the decision, and her own personal experience with adopting children.

  12. I totally get that you feel relieved that you have a medical reason for having kids "early". Like you said, society is so judemental. I don't think your late 20's are late. Maybe it's just where I'm from and the people I know (I'm 25 and live in Sweden) but I have several friends my age and younger having kids now and no one thinks it's too early. I'm single now but when I was in a long term relationship (I was 21-24) people asked me about if we were planning to have kids. I want to wait until I'm 30, if I decide to have kids at all, and people around me seem to think that's weird or a bit late… So you do you, there's always going to be people that think you're doing it wrong anyway.
    Interesting video! <3

  13. I wouldn't have thought getting a J-Pouch affects pregnancy, since it's with your bowel which is separate to your ovaries and uterus. It's good that you have the option of reversal one day. I do have friends who don't have stomas who are having difficulty conceiving, and then others who are lucky and had kids no problem. My mum had trouble, took her 4 years to have me and my brother, she was in her 30s which was considered super late in her generation where everyone else was having kids in their 20s

  14. re: the lady with a stoma "showing in a weird way", i think that means her baby bump looked different to what it would look like for a person without a stoma since the stoma would kinda push the womb to the side if that makes sense? i'm not an ostomate nor have i had kids (or am ever planning to) but that's how i understood the tweet.

  15. Definitely would be interested to see J Pouch vs permanent stoma video. I have ulcerative proctitis so I would have no choice if it ever happened but my sister is a nurse on a colorectal ward and she 100% advises against it from her experience with the patients and what they go through, if you have any questions for the video should you do it I can put you through to her as another opinion! Xx

  16. I feel like it’s not cool to have kids anymore. So I think it’s pretty damn feminist of you to be so open about what you want even if you’re not goin with the grain.

  17. Hearing you say "mummy" is really cute and I think you would be a great mum. I don't really feel like I want kids but if you had asked me 5 yrs ago I would have definitely wantes them. So who knows. All this information is still very interesting since I know nobody with a stoma and didn't even know it existed before youh talked about it. So thank you and good luck on your journey.

  18. Fellow UK IBD people who want kids – check if your hospital have a joint IBD and Obstetrics clinic! I only found out by accident when they sent me a questionnaire for pregnant people when I was not pregnant (lol). The info said you could meet them prior to pregnancy for advice (everyone seemed confused about this but they did let me in the end) and they give you extra monitoring throughout. Really useful to know.

    I'm 29, have had a few past surgeries and had my baby by C-section last year. I was recommended to have a planned C-section because ending up needing an emergency one would likely be too dangerous. It went really well. The recovery was hard but made much harder because the painkillers they put me on gave me a partial blockage. I wish I had been warned about that in advance as I spent about a month in unnecessary agony while doctors couldn't figure out the problem! Outside of that everything was good and I'm very happy with my amazing baby girl ❤️

  19. bitch please, the most feminist thing you can ever do is what you want without taking any notice of stupid societal norms or opinions. obviously opinions like that of your partner and doctors and anyone else who's opinion you have asked for, they matter, but at the end of the day, you do you

  20. As long as your in stable relationship and financial stable then go for it haha!😂😉 but the medical reason is a good. Excuse for it haha!xx

  21. Oof, that must be a lot to deal with! Kinda heavy/a big thing to suddenly deal with. With all the what ifs and all. But nice you kinda wanted to have kids young anyways. You do you, have kids when you want to. People judging is just people judging. But understand that having a 'reason' to stray from what you perceive as the 'norm' is comforting.

  22. I'm a feminist, also wanting children in my late-ish 20s. Never made excuses about it and I do think that it's the feminist thing to do to give society the finger whenever it tried judging my choices and wishes. Besides, society will judge you no matter, NO MATTER, what you do.

  23. I go to the hospital monday to get my large bowel out and ilyostomy put in. And my surgeon want me to have some of my egg put away for just in case. He said you can get pregnant the natural way but some times the scarring of the surgery can stop you from catching on.

  24. I honestly don't know why it's a mile stone you have to reach 30 in order to have children when we know very well that 35 is the cut off age for increasing risk to pregnancy. other than socially we are told that we shouldn't or that we are not capable of having children until 30. If you want children and this is your reality… who cares what you are "supposed" to do in terms of societal standards. I think this is put on women by women honestly. The reason we don't have children younger in our twenties anymore is not because we are not supposed to or can't handle it, it's because when women had the option to go to college and get a career they chose that instead of the family option in the past. Which is all find and not wrong, but who is telling us we have to wait until we are over 30? We are told now that we HAVE to take these steps in the exact order in which is popular or we did something wrong, which imo is the opposite of feminism. The reality is, this is all assume you have kids within the first few months of trying which is not reality for a lot of women. So say you wait until you are 30, it takes the typical year to get pregnant now you are 31. 9 months for a baby, recovery in which you can't have sex for a few months after… then your cycle may not come back especially if you are breastfeeding. So say you want to breastfeed and your cycle doesn't come back for another 8 months-a year. now you are almost 34. you are now closing that gap on 35. That's not saying women over 35 haven't had healthy completely normal babies and pregnancies… but risk gets higher and higher. My sister has 6 kids, the 5 before have been smooth sailing. she turned 37 and had her last kid and had the worst pregnancy she has had. not even 1 c-section with the other 5, yet she was super high risk even at 37 and had no option but a scheduled c-section. She was told it's pretty common with her age to need a c-section. All i'm saying is the reality of your situation is a lot different with a lot more variables and you shouldn't be making this decision based on anything other than your unique experience and circumstances.

  25. "Complete your family", haha yikes. Wishing you the best with these decisions xx And of course you can have kids whenever you choose.

  26. I find it really interesting that you feel there's judgement for people who have children before 30! I'm a medical student who wants kids and realistically there's no good time before I'm in my late 20s so the ob/gyn professors are encouraging us to freeze our eggs. I think learning about fertility (especially after 35) has really frightened me and made me want kids earlier.

  27. I'm 26 and have two children I definitely don't think you are young to have kids! Make your own decision forget about societies opinions! You would be an amazing mum❤️

  28. IBD is definitely hereditary. Crohns runs strongly in families as do other autoimmune diseases. I have UC and an ostomy too. Never heard the Jewish connection, very odd. I'd only heard it was more common in white/Europeans.

  29. I just want to comment to say this content you’re making is amazing. I don’t know anyone else with a stoma and I am learning so much from this! also fuck the lack of research :((((

  30. So interesting and so brave to share your story with us ! Following your channel is so wonderful because of your enthusiasm and openness. Learning about women’s health and life issues, all the things that were never discussed around men and boys should have been done all along but your personality makes it much less awkward. Thank you so much.

  31. Hannah I understand that you probably felt like you had been kicked when you are down about your research. I was 12 when I had been in a fight and was repeatedly kicked in my testicles. One swelled up bigger than a 13 inch softball. I was told I would most likely never have children of my own. I have always as long as I can remembered wanted a family of my own. I also since I was 10 suffer from PTSD. I have had one child a daughter, then I found out my wife was cheating on me for almost 6 months when my daughter was 8 months. I was a firefighter and Truck driver. I am now over 40 and have been single for the last decade. Thanks to a severe lack of trust of women and of my own emotions. Typical of PTSD I lose my cool over small menial crap, but and I cold during life threatening cases of things and make quick decisions without even a slight sense of despair. My point is that when it comes to sexual organs there's very little research done to male or female organs as far as near trauma or surgery. I wish you all the luck in the world at having you own family. And before you ask I have many other medical conditions.
    1. PTSD
    2. Severe spinal degeneration
    3. Congenital insensitivity to pain. I say it is that because I only feel nerve damage. I have been disabled by the nerve damage I have done in spinal damage. Not a good thing to have I almost didn't make my 20th birthday thanks to a appendicitis. I thought it was a pulled muscle.

  32. Get kids when you want to have kids. It's nobodys decision. Some womans want to have kids as 20yo and if that rocks your boat, what's the problem? As long as you love your kid and can provide for them, who cares?

  33. Oh really, thats funny I never thought you would worry about that! 🙈 I’m a super feminist and mom of a 15 month old. I always wanted to be a mom young and after my studies made sure we could buy a house and then had my baby. I work for myself like you (artist) and feel like a super feminist BECAUSE I had my baby young 😜 also I see a lot of creatives around me mackig the consious decision to have their kids before 30! JUST DO IT! It will bring so much joy 😘

  34. Ok when it comes to pregnancy people seriously have so many opinions they want to to let you know. Especially people you´re not close so at all…. this happend to me a lot. I had my son at 23 years and it definitely was planed that way. Always wanted to have kids but never really defined an age for it in my head. with my partner things changed and I felt very ready for it and he also wanted to become a father young.
    But I really understand your feelings that you are kind of relieved to have an excuse. some are just judging you really quickly… but no, being a young mom is not "unfeminist" i think it´s more feminist to be honest to get children when it feels right and when it fits in ones life.

  35. I had my son at 26, I always envisaged waiting til I was around 30 and, like you, felt that I was young. I couldn't be happier, it was the right time for our family ❤️

  36. Hi Hannah! I was just wondering what happens if you have a flare up or have to have surgery while being pregnant. Is there a risk of that happening?

  37. This appointment with your consultant sounds terrifying, are you okay? Take care of yourself! Also great video as always, you are still a feminist unless alongside thinking about having kids you’ve also decided that men/women/people should not be equal 😂 love you Hannah! 💖

  38. funny to listen to your words about having kids after your 30th birthday… my god, the older you are, the more risks there are for your kids. what is more, isn’t it better to have smaller age gap with your children?.. i promise you it will save billions of your nerve cells ahahahah
    but it is your choice and no one should decide for you – isn’t it a thing every liberal activist talks about?

  39. Thank you so much for all your videos. You really helped me earlier this year when due to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome I had to have an ileostomy and yours was the first I had ever seen. No children on the cards for me (different complications) but wish you all the best when you do decide. Thanks Hannah for your honesty and openness xx

  40. I have UC, and I’ve never thought about these things. For sure raising new anxieties about my future. Here comes many new theoretical questions for my GI😂

  41. Have you thought of freezing your eggs now so you can still have kids even if you have further surgery? I don't knoe if that's possible with your condition, but may be an option 🤷‍♀️ btw, your videos are always so interesting, I'm learning so much!!! 💜

  42. Omg Hannah this is a lot !!! So Many life changing desitions. When you said society is judgmental about women I said yes !!! If you really want to have kids it doesnt matter how old you are , have them! But if you dont or you feel rushed ( doesnt seem so ) then Wait if you can . IT is never the right time to have them but at least IT should be wanted and feel good to you . I wish good luck and that everything works out in the best way possible for you .

  43. Ok I know it is not the same. But I have chronic stomach issues and because of that I don't drink alcohol. I have noticed people are way more understanding of my non-alcohol consumption because of my medical reason. If I just had decided not to drink alcohol because I didn't want to they would not be as gracious.

  44. I’m just a random stranger on the internet, and also not a doctor. Clearly you have thought about this loads, and have so much more info about your own life and own body that you don’t have to share.
    I don’t know how to ask/suggest this without seeming, I dunno, weird, but have you thought about freezing your eggs? As a way to “compensate” for the potential decline in fertility post-surgery?
    This seems like a v personal question so I’m not looking for an answer, just a thought. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  45. I am nearly 27 and my son is now 6 weeks old I dont think I'm dumb or rushed I still have a chance to still have a career as he Is growing up 🙂

  46. I got pregnant when I was in full flare with UC god dam it was horrid the baby squashed my bowel making the whole pregnancy extra painful I had to have extra growth scans to make sure she was growing properly and at the end she stopped gaining weight because I just couldn’t give her what she needed as i can barely get enough nutrients for myself after I gave birth everyone was like wow you lost the baby weight so fast I’m like no I’m actually ill so I never gained any weight the baby took everything from me now I’ve given birth luckily I’ve managed to get into remission but it was a crazy horrid time 😅

  47. Would freezing your eggs be an option? Then you would still be able to have biological kids even if you have the surgery?

  48. Are there any midwives who specialise in caring for women with stomas (as there are diabetes midwives, HIV midwives etc)? It could be worth investigating as they might be able to answer more specific questions about pregnancy with a stoma.

  49. Do you think that if you had to have a C-section it would be triggering with being in surgery and healing from another scar? (If this is too sensitive, you can take a pass on this. Much love ❤️)

  50. I guess I get a bit concerned when people under like.. 23 get kids because ofc they’re still very young and not usually financially stable and usually not with a partner that theyll stay with for life increasing the chances for divorced parents. But I then again, it’s a personal choice. Life will always work itself out. I think 24-35 is a good age to have kids. My mom had me at 28 and I think I’ll have kids around that age too.

  51. A friend's sister got diagnosed with a severe illness, that could make her infertile really fast, really suddenly. So she just got married and had 3 children 😄 don't worry and try to live your best life, who cares what others think

  52. I'm 26 and not having children any time soon and that scares the shit out of me because I have endometriosis and worry about not being able to get pregnant when I am financially stable… anyways, if you are in a position where you can have children if you want to, don't feel bad for your decision

  53. I think the "she showed in a weird way" meant the bump was an unusual shape. Some people refer to a visible baby bump as "showing"

  54. Showed like the way her bump looked externally. Love you videos. Think lots of women have to make difficult decisions about their health and children. I have also been told to get on with it after fibroid removal. Wishing you the best of luck with it all xxx

  55. Well, often people who know they want more than one kid start earlier than 30 due to potential fertility issues that come with age! Not silly at all.

  56. Do what is right for you. My wife & I had 3 kids before we were 30. Yes, we were too young, stupid, and broke to do this. I was in the military and we lugged our kids all around the world: from country to country and state to state. We had adventures,we had Christmas in airports, thanksgivings in hotel rooms and I believe we always had a good time. There were some tough days like any family experiences but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Now we’re still in our early 60s with grandchildren that we can with and not have to have them visit us in a senior center. There are advantages to having your children when you’re older, the same can be said for having them when you’re younger. Do what makes you and your partner happy. Best of luck.

  57. Doing what you want and not letting people to tell you want to do is very feminist. Have a child under 30, if you want.

  58. I'm 23 and will soon have my second son 💙 why? Because I wanted to 😂 I feel like the most feminist thing you can do is say f*ck you to peoples standards & opinions, and just do what's best for you x

  59. Don’t have children too young, don’t have them too old, be married first, have been in a relationship for x amount of years first, own a house first, earn x amount of money first, have x amount of money in savings first, don’t spoil your child, don’t work full time after maternity leave, don’t work part time after maternity leave, don’t be a stay at home Mum, don’t claim benefits, don’t forget to claim child benefit, don’t have an only child, don’t leave it too long between siblings, don’t put on too much weight when pregnant, don’t lose weight when pregnant, don’t work too long into pregnancy, don’t waste too much maternity leave before the baby’s born, don’t bottle feed, don’t breast feed in public, don’t dress your baby in pink or blue, don’t raise your child gender neutral, don’t buy them too many toys, make sure they have enough educational toys, don’t let them watch tv, don’t neglect teaching them how to use technology, don’t feed them sweets, don’t force an overly healthy diet, don’t have a dog, make sure they’re not scared of dogs, don’t leave them to cry, don’t pick them up every time they cry, don’t live too close to the city, don’t live too far away from amenities, don’t send them to nursery, don’t neglect their socialisation, don’t wrap them in cotton wool, baby proof every inch of your home before they can crawl….. 🤯 It. Never. Ends!
    Screw society! Society judges everything you do, no matter what, when or how you do it. Just do you and answer to no one else ❤️

  60. There’s still a lot of people who have kids in their 20s. I’ve got two and I have friends even younger than me who have more. You do you and don’t worry about what other people think. They don’t live your life, you do. If you know you want kids and your physical health demands make that a “now or never” situation, than go for it. Only you, your partner, and your healthcare providers can have input in that decision and ultimately you’re the one who would be pregnant so you get the most weighty vote of them all. 😁

  61. I had my first at 21 and my second at 26. Dont worry about age. I think you should make the best decision for your self and your family. I think you would look super cute pregnant btw!

  62. When you are told risks go up or down you really need to know the numbers are. A really small risk even doubled is still a small risk. Life choices are personal and ignore feminist or society generic judgements. You have a unique combination of issues to deal with. Make you own choices.

  63. My biggest thing is knowledge is power. And I sincerely appreciate the way that you educate and speak so honestly. I have Cerebral Palsy and am super passionate about adults – especially women, vitally need greater access to proper education on how other areas of your life are affected when you have disabilities and chronic illnesses. The internet can be great but can also provide so much false information and anxiety.

  64. Theres nothing wrong with having kids younger, youngish or older. Different times are going to be right for different people, you should have kids whenever feels right for you. Im sure youll be a lush mum btw xxx

  65. There is really nothing wrong with having kids younger. If you want kids, then have kids. Also the younger you are when you have them the more energy you'll have to chase them. IMO if you're in a stable relationship that can bring a little one into a loving family then you're golden.

  66. It’s completely socially acceptable to have kids under 30. Let’s face it, Society can be as snobby as it likes about me having kids young (I’m 24 and having my second baby in March). Think of it this way, all the other 40 somethings will still be on the school run whilst my teenagers will take themselves to school. 😂 I could sod off to Ibiza or something.

  67. Also not all c-sections are a horizontal incision, in some cases where women have had a complex history of abdominal surgery a classical c section incision may be necessary. (Vertical)

  68. It was normal to have a house and all the kids you wanted before you were 25 years ago. At least in the USA. parents have been scolding the generations out now that are in their twenties and not getting married yet. People aren't getting married now until late 20s where before no one went to college and after high school you were an adult and could get a job and buy a house and have kids but now the world we live in it's impossible to do all that because people are forcing college on kids and debt and everything is too damn expensive so everything is getting pushed later in life so if you're stable it's totally normal to have kids in your late 20s it's healthier for you too!!

  69. Hannah, you are such an inspiration! I admire you because no matter what difficulties come your way, you stay strong, cheerful, and brave. I just want to thank you for sharing this positivity and for showing people that we are capable of overcoming any obstacle! I wish you all the best for your future plans to start a family and I hope that your health will get better and better with time. Lots of love!

  70. Definitely not unfeminist to have children when it suits your life, yiu will never feel "ready" but life does this to you and forces you to make decisions.
    I got married at 20 and have 2 children aged 4 and 6 weeks. Im now aged 22 and still a feminist. I got married young and had children young because i wanted to (even if my first was a surprise) . If you are emotionally and financially stable theres no reason to go with your gut whenever you choose

  71. Lol I don't have a stoma but I had my oldest at 23 and my youngest at 26 (both completely intentional) and a sterilization procedure at 27 so have kids when you want, don't worry about others, their opinion doesn't matter

  72. Way back in the 20th century, it was considered "old" to have children after you're 30! My first son was born a few weeks after I turned 30 via a C section. This decision should be between you and your partner, not society.

  73. I’ve had a stoma for nearly three years and I’ve never been told about my higher risk for rectal cancer. This video has definitely given me a list of questions to ask my consultant at my next appointment!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *